Getting Ready for Marriage


The Preparation Stage for Marriage and What Comes After That

Marriage is a choice and a personal decision. It is important to know the self and look at marriage before taking it and take the time and thinking and choice The link will be over life. Marriage requires constant effort in order to last and provide happiness and a safe place for both involved. It is important that the married couple agree on the values of marriage and work to achieve these values.

What is Marriage?

Marriage is the mutual consent of two people to live together under one roof in order to establish a family. The traditions and procedures associated with marriage vary across countries, communities, religions and sects. However, the common denominator is the establishment of a social cell known as the family, ensuring the continuation of humanity and the transfer of values, teachings, customs and traditions across generations. Marital life is a special art that requires a special language. It provides stability and tranquility and needs significant effort to continue and provide a safe haven for people start through it to his work and concerns and to do its role and responsibilities of the private and public. Marriage is a true partnership between men and women in all aspects of social, psychological, educational, economic, ideological and even political life, and there is no relationship to the depth of special issues such as the relationship between spouses: so that ensuring the stability of this relationship is the parity between spouses in terms of aspects mentioned. Marriage is not something that should be forced. It is a choice, and it is one of the many aspects of life in which God has made us free and chosen to take full responsibility. All religions sanctify marriage and consider it essential in its teachings to regulate the relationship between men and women. Many different considerations are behind marriage and vary according to people's needs, aspirations and principles, as well as values. Marriage can be viewed as a tradition, a sexual process, an interest, a love affair, a need, a need for life, a purposeful need for education, salvation for girls, an emotional need, a promised paradise, or a division. There are methods used to choose a partner or partner, namely, direct knowledge, discretion, or a conclusion (the husband has no say in who he marries) or by mutual consent (equal choice between parents on the one hand and the future spouses on the other). Coercion, deception, physical or moral temptation, or physical attraction are other reasons a person may decide to marry.

Factors affecting an informed decision

External factors

  1. Economic factors: spatial autonomy in terms of housing, maintenance and life requirements
  2. Family values: the wife's view and role of the importance of the scientific and material level of the wife, the view of divorce.
  3. Community values: governorate level, pre-marital mixing, attitude towards a person with a different cultural or religious background.

Internal factors

  1. Age of the person in terms of small and large work or in terms of age difference.
  2. Educational attainment and cultural level.
  3. One or both of them had been married before
  4. Method of formation
  5. Typology and beliefs

Pre-nuptial examinations

Pre-nuptial examinations

Tests in Jordan are limited to thalassemia screening only. When it is discovered that one or both of the Khatibis carry the genetic gene for thalassemia, they are directed to the concerned genetic counseling centers. These centers explain and inform the Khatibis and their parents about the nature of the disease, its complications and the risks of marriage on the newborn child, the couple and the community. The final decision is for the abductors to continue marriage or not. Centers that have a genetic counseling department both in Amman and in the other governorates.

What is thalassemia?

Thalassemia is an infectious genetic disease that affects both men and women

What are the types of thalassemia?

  • Minor (Thalassemia characteristic): This attribute appears when a person inherits the gene of illness from one of his parents. In this case, the person is a contagious person who does not have symptoms. He also does not know he is pregnant but can be transferred to his children
  • Great: When a person inherits two genes of thalassemia from the father and mother, the child is infected with the disease and show symptoms after 3 to 6 months of birth

What are the causes of thalassemia?

Deficiency in the production of blood proteins that are the red blood cells of the human body causes him: Anemia and rapid fracture of red blood cells A decrease in the amount of oxygen that must reach all parts of the body.

what happens if you fail to treat thalassemia or treat it in the wrong way?

  • Severe anemia
  • Delayed growth
  • Osteoporosis
  • The appearance of facial bones
  • Iron collects in various organs of the body and damage to the heart muscle, liver, pancreas and endocrine all in the patient's body

Knowledge of injury

Conducting the young man and woman to be examined prior to marriage in a Ministry of Health laboratory or private sector laboratories accredited by the Ministry of Health. In case of suspicion of carrying the genetic characteristic of Thalassemia for both Khatibin, they must perform the confirmation examination If the test is positive, they will be referred to the counseling centers where they will be informed that there is a possibility of every pregnancy that generates a child with thalassemia by 25% and to be infected with the disease by 50%. If one of the fiancés is pregnant with thalassemia and the other is healthy, there is the possibility of having a child with the disease at 50% per birth. The injured person needs lifelong treatment

Handling the results of tests

Different treatment with the results of medical examinations depending on the different people and the different cases that have been diagnosed and the seriousness of the ability to deal with the objective helps the couple to avoid future problems and decisions affecting the rest of their lives. Knowing the meaning of the results of the examinations leads the two partners according to the cases either to take a decision to adopt preventive measures after marriage and association with non-reproduction with all the consequences of such a decision of the pressures and confrontations and responsibilities or separation and follow up their lives independently of each other and other decisions that they find suitable for them and their situation . It is important that the decision taken at this stage has been studied in depth and in all its dimensions as it will have a lifelong impact.

Marital Values

Marital Values

The existence of a common language and prior agreement between the spouses on the values adopted in the marital home establishes a lasting relationship and avoids many problems. It is necessary to talk about these subjects to determine the common grounds. The wide divergence in the perception of these concepts may threaten the marriage as a whole among these values

  • Tolerance: It is to forgive one spouse for his partner and look at the mistake of the wrong of the perpetrator and look at his guilt and compassion as a person exposed to error and weakness.
  • Honesty and openness: It is considered the basis of trust and affects the growth of the relationship between spouses and their continuation and gives safety to both spouses. It is important to present the truth to the partner in a loving and friendly manner and frankness is the basis for a transparent relationship in which problems can be resolved before they become complex.
  • Passion: Expressing emotion by touching, embracing, kissing, kissing, kissing, kissing, kissing and kissing makes the couple feel happy, energetic and energetic, helping to face life and their challenges.
  • Acceptance: It is important that both spouses accept each other as they are and respect each other's rights and feelings.
  • Sincerity: It is important to be reciprocal and not only to the other party, but to the family and the home in which they are involved.
  • Respect: mutual respect each person in the relationship to overcome certain boundaries even when differences and differences respect is required not only in front of people, but at home and especially in front of boys and girls and servants.
  • Affection: Make the couple embrace frames that keep away from severe convulsions and show mutual appreciation and expression of emotions.
  • Support and support: necessary to face the difficulties of life, both will pass a difficult period requires support and support from the partner, which strengthens the relationship and strengthens.
  • Expressing feelings: Whatever the positive or negative feelings of health expressed, it is necessary to pay attention to the manner of expression and timing to give this expression the desired result in the marital relationship.
  • Communicate positively and listen: Strengthen the relationship between the couple is a way to express love and appreciation to the other side of the compliment is important when one of the spouses work in a good way and encouragement is important to mitigate in failure.
  • Participation: The principle of participation is essential so that no party feels neglected or suppressed or of no value. Participation involves not only the fateful decisions of the family but also a daily act that becomes a way of dealing with and a way of life in various areas of life.
  • Division of tasks: helps relieve stress and take joint responsibility on more than one level may include these tasks:
  • Arrange the house
  • Home Needs Insurance.
  • Follow up the teaching of children.
  • Organizing children's activities.
  • Take care of children's health.
  • Maintenance of home tools.
  • pay bills
  • Interest in official papers and obtaining them.
  • Recreational, social and cultural tasks.
  • There is no fixed base for dividing these tasks. It varies according to the family and its different circumstances. It takes into consideration the work of women outside the home. Physical abilities The number and age of boys and girls. It is important to note that in our societies women are often unable to work at home. Work is tired and requires great time and effort.

How to deal with husband and wife with others

The principle of solidarity is the basis, and the prior agreement on the principles and on dealing with certain situations avoid confrontation between the spouses because of contradictory positions in front of others. In addition, the adopted method of dealing must meet the needs of both parties without creating problems with the big family and the behavior of men Often play a key role in putting an end to interventions while maintaining positive relations with all.

First Child Born

When should the first child be born?

The decision to have a first child differs from the results of the other decision of childbearing that the arrival of the first child will change all the standards in the family and the couple to prepare for this stage things will not return to what it was before will change all the details will become a third person and the newborn needs a lot of care over And the couple must prepare well for this step in terms of ensuring that the marital relationship has become a level capable of accommodating this change and living joyfully and responding to their psychological, material and other requirements in addition to obtaining the information and the decision to delay this stage until the party feels That they are ready for them, it is imperative for the couple to face the social pressures that are always seeking to induce rapid reproduction.

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